Dean McDermott is going through a real rough patch on True Tori, feeling like he creates no value in life, has a small penis and wants to off himself.
Not to be dramatic or anything.
After writing a letter to Tori Spelling and coming clean about cheating, he hits a low point. Probably for good reason, but still, it is a difficult scene to watch.
True Tori Recap: Dean McDermott Breaks Down!In this week’s therapy session, Dean admits he was not attracted to the woman that he had an affair with. Possibly because Emily Goodhand does not exist.
Just kidding. Probably.
She was “just like a warm body. I felt like I was on auto-pilot," he says, blaming the demise of his sex life with Tori on “complications from the last pregnancy."
Our "sex life wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t stellar," he says, an endorsement sure to make Tori feel great. As for cheating, “It was an escape, just like drugs and alcohol.”
Tori says that not only did they have sex one week before he cheated, but he's admitted he was attracted to the other woman, which he is now denying.
Tori also rips Dean for saying that “his worst nightmare” is cheating on his wife, when in reality she thinks it's just that he got busted. He says “I don’t know.”
Then, he admits that he’s a “monster” and he can’t believe that Tori is still with him. But, after this quasi-apology, he complains about their sex life again.
Through tears, Tori worries Dean is insatiable, and reveals that after the birth of her son, Finn, she had a problem with her intestines and now has a bump.
Dean cheated on Tori Spelling because the other girl is hotter, in other words. “I want to look good for you,” she cries, as Dean insists that is a non-factor.
Later, Dean admits that feels like a “piece of sh!t” for what he did to his wife. More specifically, he says, “I feel like a fatass, small d!ck ... piece of shit.”
True Tori Promo: You LIED!The therapist says that they’re both completely insecure, and they need to write each other a letter to get all of their feelings out in the open here and now.
Dean also admits that he has been drinking and using cocaine, and that at one point, he wanted to die, and was put on a suicidal watch in a treatment center.
Finally, McDermott tells his friend that he can’t bare to think about what he did to Tori. It hurts him so much physically, he can barely handle it. Poor fella.
His son actually finds him writing his therapy-homework letter to Tori and asks what's up. “How do you tell a seven-year-old that your dad is a douche bag,” Dean asks.
Questions for the ages.
“I'm so sorry for the unforgivable, irresponsible, self-indulgent, egotistical, self-seeking, arrogant behavior that took place in Toronto,” Dean’s letter reads.
“I took you for granted…I hurt you so bad.”
Tori’s reaction to the letter? MEH!
Dean admits that it was a “sh!tty apology.” Tori says that there’s no remorse, so the therapist asks if he even feels bad. “Oh my god, yes,” Dean says.
Tori lays it on Dean, letting him know that she does not accept his apology, and shows him photos of her with the kids while he was off boning some skank.
Until next time!
True Tori: 5 Signs Dean McDermott's Affair Is Fake
Open Slideshow 1. Tori and Dean Are Broke! Tori and Dean are so broke, he can't even afford a vasectomy supposedly. Guess that's why they keep having kids. View As List 
1. Tori and Dean Are Broke!
Tori and Dean are so broke, he can't even afford a vasectomy supposedly. Guess that's why they keep having kids.
2. Tori Knows How to Fake It
Tori might be too honest in her book, Spelling it Like It Is. In the memoir, she reveals that in the past, she's faked reality show storylines in order to score ratings.
3. Tori and Dean's New Year's Photo
Tori and Dean posted this pic to Instagram for New Year's. Problem is, Tori has since claimed Dean was in rehab throughout the winter holidays. Whoops!
4. Tori Lied About Help With Kids
Tori claims she raised the kids on her own in Dean's absence. The truth is, she gets plenty of help fro THREE nannies.
5. Emily Goodhand Doesn't Exist!
Emily Goodhand has only been "interviewed" once and never photographed. The popular theory at the moment is that Tori and Dean lied about his affair.
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