Cheryl Cole: 'Hey. Are my breasts hanging out?'

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Cheryl Cole of Girls Aloud celebrated her 26th birthday last night wearing a dress that apparently exists for the sole purpose of making me go "Aw, c'mon!" Seriously, if I had an archnemesis, one day he'd have me strapped to a bomb only to reveal he designed this dress. And also invented DUI laws. -- You fiend!

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